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I am only human, although I regret it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
Human
Humorists
Humans
Lecturer
Publishers
Entrepreneur
Humorous
Although
Regret

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.
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I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
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Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
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Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend.
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I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.
Mark Twain
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
Mark Twain
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I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
Mark Twain
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Delicacy - a sad, sad false delicacy - robs literature of the two best things among its belongings: Family-circle narratives & obscene stories.
Mark Twain
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If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
Mark Twain
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
Mark Twain
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She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot
Mark Twain
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There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
Mark Twain
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There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.
Mark Twain
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The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.
Mark Twain
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
Mark Twain
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I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Mark Twain
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The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
Mark Twain
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College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
Mark Twain
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Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
Mark Twain
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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!
Mark Twain