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I am only human, although I regret it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
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Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
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Science Fiction Writer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Humorous
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Lecturer

More quotes by Mark Twain

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The peoples furthest from civilization are the ones where equality between man and woman are furthest apart-and we consider this one of the signs of savagery.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.
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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
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A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
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The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
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If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just as interesting as trying to find out and finding out and I don't know but more so.
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Remember this, take this to heart, live by it, die for it if necessary: that our patriotism is medieval, outworn, obsolete that the modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism, is loyalty to the Nation ALL the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health.
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
Mark Twain
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And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.
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What's the use you learning to do right , when it's troublesome to do right and it ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
Mark Twain
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Mark Twain
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The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
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None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness but we can try.
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