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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Youth
Cannot
Heart
Compressed
Long
Elastic
Time
Sawyer
Constrained
Shape
Shapes

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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
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I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie I can, but I won't.
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Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.
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The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
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When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
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I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.
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If God is what people say there can be no one in the universe so unhappy as He for He sees unceasingly myriads of His creatures suffering unspeakable miseries--and besides this foresees how they are going to suffer during the remainder of their lives. One might as well say, As unhappy as God.
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He had only one vanity he thought he could give advice better than any other person.
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When an honest writer discovers an imposition it is his simple duty to strip it bare and hurl it down from its place of honor, no matter who suffers by it any other course would render him unworthy of the public confidence.
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Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.
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Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.
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The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all.
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There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
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A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.
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