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You can't pray a lie -- I found that out.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Huckleberry
Pray
Praying
Lying
Found

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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
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Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
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Comedy keeps the heart sweet but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional climb among the pomps of the intellectual snow-summits built by Shakespeare and those others.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
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The less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
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Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection-that is the last and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.
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All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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The best of us would rather be popular than right.
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That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
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It is your human environment that makes climate
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
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Astonishing things can be done with the human memory if you will devote it faithfully to one particular line of business.
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Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.
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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
Mark Twain