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You can't pray a lie -- I found that out.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Found
Huckleberry
Pray
Praying
Lying

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isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
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Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
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Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
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How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
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Unused talents gives you no advantage over someone who has no talent at all.
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Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
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No throne exists that has a right to exist, and no symbol of it, flying from any flagstaff, is righteously entitled to wear any device but the skull and crossbones of that kindred industry which differs from royalty only businesswise-merely as retail differs from wholesale.
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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?
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Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!
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It is better to support schools than jails.
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.
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Distance lends enchantment to the view.
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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
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It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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