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You can't pray a lie -- I found that out.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Huckleberry
Pray
Praying
Lying
Found

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Music is a good thing and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully.
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A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.
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Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
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Sometimes people do get hurt
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I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds.
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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
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There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to but a hog is different.
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Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.
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If ever you've been down in the dumps, hear these iconic authors share with you more than their writing wisdom.
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The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
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If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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None but the dead have free speech.
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Good wine needs no bush a jug is the thing.
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