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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Humorous
Censoring
Telling
Censored
Baby
Chew
Funny
Chewing
Men
Banned
Steak
Censorship
Witty

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[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
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Let your joy be unconfined!
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No man, deep down in the privacy of his heart, has any considerable respect for himself.
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Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend.
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
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Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.
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We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there.
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We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
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The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, Where is the best place to go to? He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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In my nostrils still lives the breath of flowers that perished twenty years ago.
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail the more you pay, the more is exacted.
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A group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring.
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When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.
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The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.
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When congress is in session no American is safe.
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Some things you can't find out but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
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