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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Telling
Censored
Baby
Chew
Funny
Chewing
Men
Banned
Steak
Censorship
Witty
Humorous
Censoring

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Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded.
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The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
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I have traveled more than anyone else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent.
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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
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isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
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Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.
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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
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Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
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The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
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When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
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The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
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Drop this mean and sordid and selfish devotion to the saving of your shabby little souls, and hunt up something to do that's got some dignity to it! Risk your souls! Risk them in good causes then if you lose them, why should you care? Reform!
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
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Never tell a lie-except for practice.
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement.
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All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it.
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