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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Differences
Crazy
Inspirational
Onlookers
Tell
Argue
May
Favourite
Able
Arguing
Never
Fool
Difference

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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
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There's some human instinct which makes a man treasure what he is not to make any use of, because everybody does not possess it.
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In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere.
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When in doubt tell the truth.
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I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
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The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
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Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
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I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
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You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would.
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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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Is not this insanity plea becoming rather common? Is it not so common that the reader confidently expects to see it offered in every criminal case that comes before the courts?... Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity.
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I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it.
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isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
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Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
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I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.
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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
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We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.
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You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
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The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
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