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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
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Florida
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Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him.
Mark Twain
Too much is just enough.
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If all men were rich, all men would be poor.
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
Mark Twain
Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
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A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.
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The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to institutions are extraneous. . . .
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Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.
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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
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The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
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Never waste a lie you never know when you may need it.
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It is better to support schools than jails.
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All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor.
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
Mark Twain
