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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Humorists
Reason
Diapers
Must
Politicians
Politician
Changed
Politics
Funny
Often
More quotes by Mark Twain
I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
Mark Twain
when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
Mark Twain
Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.
Mark Twain
Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
Mark Twain
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie I can, but I won't.
Mark Twain
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
Mark Twain
Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.
Mark Twain
A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
Mark Twain
A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
Mark Twain
I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
Mark Twain
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain
I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
Mark Twain
Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be
Mark Twain
Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
Mark Twain
There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
Mark Twain
Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.
Mark Twain
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
Mark Twain
I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
Mark Twain
The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation.
Mark Twain
If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
Mark Twain
