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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Humorists
Reason
Diapers
Must
Politicians
Politician
Changed
Politics
Funny
Often
More quotes by Mark Twain
I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.
Mark Twain
The humorous story is told gravely the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
Mark Twain
A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
Mark Twain
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
Mark Twain
None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy.
Mark Twain
You cannot have all chiefs you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain
The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Mark Twain
The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
Mark Twain
If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.
Mark Twain
I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
Mark Twain
I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
Mark Twain
I have learned that human existence is essentially tragic. It is only the love of God, disclosed and enacted in Christ, that redeems the human tragedy and makes it tolerable. No, more than tolerable. Wonderful.
Mark Twain
Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain
An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing.
Mark Twain
Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.
Mark Twain
Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.
Mark Twain
