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The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Done
Traits
Killing
Large
Joy
Seeing
Race
Human
Humans
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
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God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
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Nothing so focuses the mind as the prospect of being hanged.
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Always obey your parents - when they are present.
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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
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Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
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There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
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When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.
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Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.
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The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.
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