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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Men
Redeeming
Particles
Whatsoever
Petty
Vices
Havens
Confidence
Haven
Particle

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Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
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Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
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Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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We can't always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go
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History may not repeat, but it often rhymes.
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Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure at least the pain is the biggest end of it.
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The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires.
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I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.
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He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects were—for, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realized.
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Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
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The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.
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Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
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Honor is a harder master than the law.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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