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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Confidence
Haven
Particle
Men
Redeeming
Particles
Whatsoever
Petty
Vices
Havens

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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?
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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
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To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.
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Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.
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In literature imitations do not imitate.
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Next to possessing genius one's self is the power of appreciating it in others.
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Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
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The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible.
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We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions to indulge in such disastrous experiments.
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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses never, I believe, by people.
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In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.
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