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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Petty
Vices
Havens
Confidence
Haven
Particle
Men
Redeeming
Particles
Whatsoever

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I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
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Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.
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But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.
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If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
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I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.
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[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.
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The human being places sexual intercourse above all other joys, but leaves it out of his heaven.
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Broad, wholesome, charitable views .. can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of the earth.
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When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. . . . The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all. . . . When we talk about the great workers of the world we really mean the great players of the world.
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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
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Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
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Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.
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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.
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Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.
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