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If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Weather
Wait
England
Minutes
Waiting

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Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
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Sometimes people do get hurt
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Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring to him? Discovery!
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All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
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If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.
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If you're looking for friends when you need them...it's too late.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
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....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.
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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
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Hunger is the handmaid of genius
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Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.
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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
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If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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The funniest things are the forbidden.
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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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