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If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Wait
England
Minutes
Waiting
Like
Weather

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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.
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I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
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It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
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I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
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We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.
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You can't throw too much style into a miracle.
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It were not best that we should all think alike.
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If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.
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Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.
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Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
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I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.
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He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
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There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow we used to forget what year it was we left port in.
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Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.
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There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species.
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These people´s God has shown them by a million acts that he respects none of the Bible´s statues. He breaks every one of them himself, adultery and all.
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Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth.
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