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If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Minutes
Waiting
Like
Weather
Wait
England

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A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.
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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.
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To believe yourself brave is to be brave it is the one only essential thing.
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It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.
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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
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Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it.
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It was a place of sin, loose women, whiskey and gambling. It was no place for a good Presbyterian, and I did not long remain one.
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The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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It is curious and interesting to notice what an attraction a fussy, mincing, nickel-plated word has for you.
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Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting
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No man, deep down in the privacy of his heart, has any considerable respect for himself.
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I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
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The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
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The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.
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