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Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
War
Famines
Hard
Foretell
Every
Famine
Always
Wars
Generally
Somewhere
Knew
Though

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Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.
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The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
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The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.
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Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of smartness--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artifici
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
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Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
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...heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?
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