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I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Verge
Angel
Happened
Never
Life

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, Our Country, right or wrong, and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
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To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
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There are many humorous things in the world among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
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We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention.
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Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.
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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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From the dome of St. Peter's one can see every notable object in Rome... He can see a panorama that is varied, extensive, beautiful to the eye, and more illustrious in history than any other in Europe.
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The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
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Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
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If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.
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Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
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Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
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That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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No man, deep down in the privacy of his heart, has any considerable respect for himself.
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