Quote

To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Three
Offers
Implicit
May
Confidence
Circumstance
Look
Pay
Candidate
Without
Nobody
Wood
Looks
Somebody
Intended
Writing
Within
Candidates
Years
Upon
Woods
Write
Sign
Sawing

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Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
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Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me and they keep multiplying but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.
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Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
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God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
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Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
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There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
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The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.
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...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.
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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
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Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.
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All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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