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To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
May
Confidence
Circumstance
Look
Pay
Candidate
Without
Nobody
Wood
Looks
Somebody
Intended
Writing
Within
Candidates
Years
Upon
Woods
Write
Sign
Sawing
Three
Offers
Implicit
More quotes by Mark Twain
The solution to our water problems is more rain.
Mark Twain
Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after all, it is an overstatement. If the cholera or black plague should come to these shores, perhaps the bulk of the nation would pray to be delivered from it, but the rest would put their trust in The Health Board.
Mark Twain
One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
Mark Twain
Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.
Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
Mark Twain
If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.
Mark Twain
For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.
Mark Twain
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there.
Mark Twain
I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.
Mark Twain
I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
Mark Twain
There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
Mark Twain
What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
Mark Twain
France has usually been governed by prostitutes
Mark Twain
One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.
Mark Twain
It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
Mark Twain
Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
Mark Twain
Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.
Mark Twain
If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.
Mark Twain
Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
Mark Twain
It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.
Mark Twain
