Quote

If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Scratches
Funeral
Places
Thousand
Sleep
Upwards
Quality
Itch
Trying
Sleepy
Scratch

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The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.
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The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.
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If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
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How superbly brave is the Englishman in the presence of the awfulest forms of danger and death and how abject in the presence of any and all forms of hereditary rank.
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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
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All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.
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When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.
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Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
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If I can capture truth in its simplest form, beauty will follow like a sledgehammer.
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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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The low level which commercial morality has reached in America is deplorable. We have humble God fearing Christian men among us who will stoop to do things for a million dollars that they ought not to be willing to do for less than 2 millions.
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Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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Next to possessing genius one's self is the power of appreciating it in others.
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From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
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All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.
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