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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.
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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
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People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.
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It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
Mark Twain
Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!
Mark Twain
No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.
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Make your vacation your vocation.
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The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.
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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
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If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
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I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.
Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
Mark Twain
It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
Mark Twain
You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
Mark Twain