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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Would
Manchester
Like
Amusing
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
Transition
England
Death
Live

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My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.
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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
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There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
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A historian who would convey the truth has got to lie. Often he must enlarge the truth by diameters, otherwise his reader would not be able to see it.
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Intellectual ''work'' is misnamed it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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I don't mind what the opposition say of me so long as they don't tell the truth about me. But when they descend to telling the truth about me I consider that this is taking an unfair advantage.
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Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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Experience, the only logic sure to convince a diseased imagination and restore it to rugged health.
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.
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Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.
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If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
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