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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Finds
Woman
Beautiful
Really
Considerable
Acquaintance
Frequently

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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
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There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
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That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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By trampling upon the helpless abroad with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
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Go to bed early, get up early-this is wise.
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Humor is the good natured side of a truth.
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...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.
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Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.
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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
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I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
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That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
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Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor
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The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
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Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
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