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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Considerable
Acquaintance
Frequently
Finds
Woman
Beautiful
Really

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Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
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He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.
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The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.
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I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
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I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.
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Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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Your actions speak so much louder than words.
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Always obey your parents - when they are present.
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It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.
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But it was ever thus, all through my life: whenever I have diverged from custom and principle and uttered a truth, the rule has been that the hearer hadn't strength of mind enough to believe it.
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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
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The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.
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