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It's not as bad as it sounds.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Sound
Sounds

More quotes by Mark Twain

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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
Mark Twain
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It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
Mark Twain
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Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
Mark Twain
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
Mark Twain
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The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
Mark Twain
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
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Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
Mark Twain
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How lovely is death and how niggardly it is doled out.
Mark Twain
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In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
Mark Twain
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There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.
Mark Twain
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Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
Mark Twain
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If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!
Mark Twain
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It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
Mark Twain
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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.
Mark Twain
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The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.
Mark Twain
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To trust the God of the Bible is to trust an irascible, vindictive, fierce and ever fickle and changeful master.
Mark Twain
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All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
Mark Twain
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Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.
Mark Twain
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Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.
Mark Twain
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In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously...drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens our entire existence.
Mark Twain