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All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Death
Live
Complaint
Come
Complaints
Hard
Mouths
Dying
Strange
Dies
Inspirational

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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.
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In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere they date from it.
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When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
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God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
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As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
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Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
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Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
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If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.
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Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances.
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You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
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You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that ain't no matter. That book was made by a Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly.
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I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
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Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
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I persuaded him to throw the dirk away and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
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