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I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Cannot
Large
Ever
Unless
Mind
Eyes
Purposely
Men
Religious
Shut
Eye
Humorous
Religion
Degree
Force
Perception
Keep
Degrees

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I've dealt with many crises in my life, but few will ever happen.
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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
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Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.
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Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.
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If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
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Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isn't.
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It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
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I persuaded him to throw the dirk away and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
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We can't always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go
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