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Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Youth
Advantages
Age
Accumulation
Enjoy
Birthday
Ends
Privilege
Life
Advantage
Begin
Accumulations
Capacity
Splendidly
Failure
Privileges

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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.
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The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.
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The funniest things are the forbidden.
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In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.
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The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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Let your joy be unconfined!
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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
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Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.
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He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
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Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
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But death was sweet, death was gentle, death was kind death healed the bruised spirit and the broken heart, and gave them rest and forgetfulness death was man’s best friend when man could endure life no longer, death came and set him free.
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There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!
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No child should be permitted to grow up without exercise for imagination. It enriches life for him. It makes things wonderful and beautiful.
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If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.
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I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.
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