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High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water but everybody likes water.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Fine
Everybody
High
Literature
Water
Likes
Wine
Mines
Mine

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The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.
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The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.
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Conformity—the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority.
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Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!
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I should be sorry to think it was the publishers themselves they got up this entire little flutter to enable them to unload a book that was taking too much room in their cellars, but you can never tell what a publisher will do. I have been one myself.
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Creed and opinion change with time, and their symbols perish but Literature and its temples are sacred to all creeds and inviolate.
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Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.
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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
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The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
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He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.
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The new political gospel: public office is private graft.
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Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.
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...heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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The human being places sexual intercourse above all other joys, but leaves it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain