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The humorous story is told gravely the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Stories
Crafts
Doe
Humorous
Anything
Humor
Best
Told
Gravely
Even
Story
Dimly
Fact
Teller
Funny
Conceal
Facts
Suspects
More quotes by Mark Twain
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
Mark Twain
Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it.
Mark Twain
In literature imitations do not imitate.
Mark Twain
It is a good and gentle religion, but inconvenient.
Mark Twain
To believe yourself brave is to be brave it is the one only essential thing.
Mark Twain
The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
Mark Twain
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
Mark Twain
Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
Mark Twain
The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.
Mark Twain
The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
Mark Twain
Conscience, man's moral medicine chest.
Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.
Mark Twain
I don't know anything about this man. Anyhow, I only know two things about him. One is, he has never been in jail, and the other is, I don't know why.
Mark Twain
The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
Mark Twain
All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
Mark Twain
Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
Mark Twain
A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
Mark Twain
Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been damned for the race, that would have been act of a size proper to a god, and would have saved the whole race.
Mark Twain
It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.
Mark Twain
