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Names are not always what they seem.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Seem
Names
Seems
Always
Goliath
Labyrinth
Anatomy
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More quotes by Mark Twain

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I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.
Mark Twain
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
Mark Twain
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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
Mark Twain
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Let your joy be unconfined!
Mark Twain
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The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, Where is the best place to go to? He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.
Mark Twain
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There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.
Mark Twain
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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
Mark Twain
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There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
Mark Twain
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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
Mark Twain
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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
Mark Twain
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Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
Mark Twain
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
Mark Twain
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Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.
Mark Twain
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Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.
Mark Twain
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Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail the more you pay, the more is exacted.
Mark Twain
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Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
Mark Twain
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I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.
Mark Twain
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I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
Mark Twain
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In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere.
Mark Twain
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You cannot have all chiefs you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain