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Names are not always what they seem.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
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Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
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Science Fiction Writer
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Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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More quotes by Mark Twain
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
Mark Twain
More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.
Mark Twain
India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
Mark Twain
One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare
Mark Twain
I have no race prejudices, and I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being-that is enough for me he can't be any worse.
Mark Twain
One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.
Mark Twain
There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
Mark Twain
Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
Mark Twain
It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.
Mark Twain
It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.
Mark Twain
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
Mark Twain
It is higher and nobler to be kind.
Mark Twain
Don't wait the time is never just right.
Mark Twain
Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent.
Mark Twain
All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.
Mark Twain
Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Mark Twain
Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
Mark Twain
Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth
Mark Twain
We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do.
Mark Twain
