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You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Another
Assassinate
Would
Cant
Men
Habits
Life
Road
Reach
Habit
Protect
Age

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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves in varying forms-fortunately harmless forms as a rule.
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The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
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When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
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The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.
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If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty.
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
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Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
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But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.
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We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.
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If you need help identifying actionable analytics check out this post.
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A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.
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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.
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It is not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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Never waste a lie you never know when you may need it.
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All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
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The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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