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A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
News
Enough
Something
Make
Reporting
People
Newspaper
Mad
Newspapers

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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
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Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.
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It's so damned humiliating.
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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.
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The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
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My mind changes often ... People who have no mind can easily be steadfast and firm, but when a man is loaded down to the guards with it, as I am, every heavy sea of foreboding or inclination, maybe of indolence, shifts the cargo.
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The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.
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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise
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[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.
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Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
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Every man is in his own person the whole human race without a detail lacking....I knew I should not find in any philosophy a single thought which had not passed through my own head, nor a single thought which had not passed through the heads of millions and millions of men before I was born.
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He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too.
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If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.
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Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.
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