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The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Providence
Idiot
Protect
Says
True
Proverb
Children
Protects
Really
Idiots
Tested

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The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.
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Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.
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And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.
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Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first! Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer
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The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all.
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The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it.
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Learning softeneth the heart and breedeth gentleness and charity.
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My axiom is, to succeed in business: avoid my example.
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By trampling upon the helpless abroad with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.
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I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.
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Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
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I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
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These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.
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We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.
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Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
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I am dead to adverbs they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them.
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The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the tellingthe comic and the witty story upon the matter.
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