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I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Years
Atheism
Never
Dead
Millions
Bits
Religious
Religion
Born
Inconvenienced
Death
Suicide

More quotes by Mark Twain

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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
Mark Twain
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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
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In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.
Mark Twain
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Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
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it is not wise to keep the fire going under a slander unless you can get some large advantage out of keeping it alive. Few slanders can stand the wear of silence.
Mark Twain
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When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
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Training- training is everything training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature it is folly there is no such thing as nature what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training. We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
Mark Twain
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The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.
Mark Twain
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
Mark Twain
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I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
Mark Twain
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When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface
Mark Twain
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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain
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We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries it is only when we set out to discover the secret of God that our difficulties disappear.
Mark Twain
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No man, deep down in the privacy of his heart, has any considerable respect for himself.
Mark Twain
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Make your vacation your vocation.
Mark Twain
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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
Mark Twain
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The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
Mark Twain
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That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
Mark Twain
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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
Mark Twain
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But old fools is the biggest fools there is.
Mark Twain