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I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Religious
Religion
Born
Inconvenienced
Death
Suicide
Years
Atheism
Never
Dead
Millions
Bits

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
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We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety.
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Education is what remains when what is learned has been taken away.
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The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
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A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
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India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
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Education is what you must acquire without any interference from your schooling.
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
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As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.
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Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere.
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If a spectacle is going to be particularly imposing I prefer to see it through somebody else's eyes, because that man will always exaggerate. Then I can exaggerate his exaggeration, and my account of the thing will be the most impressive.
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All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
Mark Twain
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We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.
Mark Twain