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There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Funny
Two
Nothing
People
Interrupting
Hilarious
Annoying
Busy
Talking

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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.
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Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
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We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes
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The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would answer.
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Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out
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Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
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Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
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