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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Praised
Always
Distinguished
Fifteen
Anxious
Possess
Musical
Praise
Talent

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The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.
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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
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I could forgive the boy, now, if he'd committed a million sins!
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I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere they date from it.
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English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.
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As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.
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Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments - notably those of the violin - but it seems to set a piano's teeth on edge.
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Be good and you will be lonely.
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In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.
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One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's only tto pair and a jack.
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Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
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I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.
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It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.
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Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
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There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
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Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths (orthodoxy) to destroy it.
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