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That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thing
Way
People
Nothing

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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.
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If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
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Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
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Make your vacation your vocation.
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... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
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My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.
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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
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Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth.
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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
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When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
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Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection-that is the last and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.
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The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.
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Every year you wait, long ago gets farther away.
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Travel is lethal to prejudice.
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No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
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Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.
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Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.
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Great enterprises usually promise vastly more than they perform.
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