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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Learn
Process
Ends
Dissecting
Like
Frog
Frogs
Explaining
Kill
Humor

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Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.
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There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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In the ancient city of London, on a certain autumn day in the second quarter of the sixteenth century, a boy was born to a poor family of the name of Canty, who did not want him.
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No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances.
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I have learned that human existence is essentially tragic. It is only the love of God, disclosed and enacted in Christ, that redeems the human tragedy and makes it tolerable. No, more than tolerable. Wonderful.
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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
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Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.
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Names are not always what they seem.
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By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.
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We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.
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Every year you wait, long ago gets farther away.
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The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
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English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.
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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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You cannot have all chiefs you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
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Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
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Pilgrim's Progress , about a man that left his family, it didn't say why. I read considerable in it now and then. The statements was interesting, but tough.
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In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.
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By and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed.
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