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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Learn
Process
Ends
Dissecting
Like
Frog
Frogs
Explaining
Kill
Humor

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Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.
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We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries it is only when we set out to discover the secret of God that our difficulties disappear.
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If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.
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You can't pray a lie -- I found that out.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that the savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.
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There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.
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A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
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It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time.
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Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
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Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.
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Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak.
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I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
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The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.
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Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.
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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
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The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
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