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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Learn
Process
Ends
Dissecting
Like
Frog
Frogs
Explaining
Kill
Humor

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Dates are hard to remember because they consist of figures figures are monotonously unstriking in appearance, and they don't take hold, they form no pictures, and so they give the eye no chance to help. Pictures are the thing. Pictures can make dates stick.
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It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
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From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
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If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
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How lovely is death and how niggardly it is doled out.
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An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words it feels like music.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
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