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I like Joan of Arc best of all my books and it is the best I know it perfectly well.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Well
Like
Joan
Arcs
Perfectly
Books
Best
Wells
Book

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The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
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Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'
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A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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Prediction is difficult- particularly when it involves the future.
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Genius has no youth, but starts with the ripeness of age and old experience.
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Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
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Let your joy be unconfined!
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood.
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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
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The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.
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The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
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The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
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It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden. Meantime, I seem to have been drifting into criticism myself. But that is nothing. At the worst, criticism is nothing more than a crime, and I am not unused to that.
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From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
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They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.
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