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I like Joan of Arc best of all my books and it is the best I know it perfectly well.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Book
Well
Like
Joan
Arcs
Perfectly
Books
Best
Wells

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If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.
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The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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Whiskey is for drinking water is for fighting over.
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Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
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We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.
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God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
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But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
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Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
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There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.
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I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
Mark Twain