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There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
People
Admire
Species
Respect
Much
Think
Thinking

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In literature imitations do not imitate.
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This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.
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Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
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Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
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Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress and some would lose all of it.
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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Go to bed early, get up early-this is wise.
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When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.
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Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
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The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.
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Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
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A sense of humor is the one thing no one will admit to not having.
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He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
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Every year you wait, long ago gets farther away.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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But death was sweet, death was gentle, death was kind death healed the bruised spirit and the broken heart, and gave them rest and forgetfulness death was man’s best friend when man could endure life no longer, death came and set him free.
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To eat is human, to digest, divine
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It was on the 10th day of May - 1884 - that I confessed to age by mounting spectacles for the first time, and in the same hour I renewed my youth, to outward appearance, by mounting a bicycle for the first time. The spectacles stayed on.
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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.
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