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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
World
Surest
Namely
Promise
Found
Body
Thing
Way
Make

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We are always too busy for our children we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.
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Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact!
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when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
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Don't wait the time is never just right.
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.
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I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.
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Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.
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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation.
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Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.
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I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
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If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.
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After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.
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What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
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He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
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