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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Name
Mentioned
Feeling
Authors
Names
Shakespeare
Feelings
Greatness
Wells
Sorry
Well
Habit
Chaucer
Great
Dying
Spencer
Dead
Milton

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Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
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Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
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The new political gospel: public office is private graft.
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Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. I give you my word, it has not a single feature in it that he actually values.
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There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.
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I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.
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If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.
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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
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Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.
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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
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If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.
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It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.
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But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.
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Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style.
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A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more We, A little less I, A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the stri
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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
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