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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Great
Dying
Spencer
Dead
Milton
Name
Mentioned
Feeling
Authors
Names
Shakespeare
Feelings
Greatness
Wells
Sorry
Well
Habit
Chaucer

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More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.
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The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
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Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.
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When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.
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If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'
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The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.
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There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.
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The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.
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That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
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Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy aristocracy of the American type.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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