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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Feeling
Authors
Names
Shakespeare
Feelings
Greatness
Wells
Sorry
Well
Habit
Chaucer
Great
Dying
Spencer
Dead
Milton
Name
Mentioned

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Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
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It shames the average man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth.
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As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I went into the alley to devour it, but no sooner had I set my teeth into it, than I paused, a strange feeling coming over me. I came to a quick conclusion. Firmly, I walked up to that cart, replaced the melon - and took a ripe one.
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There is a sumptuous variety about the New England weather... In the spring I have counted one hundred and twenty-six different kinds of weather inside of four and twenty hours.
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Great enterprises usually promise vastly more than they perform.
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I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
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Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
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I've dealt with many crises in my life, but few will ever happen.
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Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.
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The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.
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The physician who knows only medicine, knows not even medicine.
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It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW is only a small step and quickly taken.
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There is no urge so great as for one man to edit another man's work.
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.
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Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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