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Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Without
Envelopes
Like
Address
Addresses
Witty
Classic
Clever
Looking
Simile
Funny
Envelope

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Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
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Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
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What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.
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Creed and opinion change with time, and their symbols perish but Literature and its temples are sacred to all creeds and inviolate.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.
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Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.
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The community is eminently Portuguese - that is to say, it is slow, poor, shiftless, sleepy, and lazy.
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The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.
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If one is honest there is no need to remember.
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Concentration of power in a political machine is bad and an Established Church is only a political machine it was invented for that it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.
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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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The ability to find solutions to life's challenges is what makes us grow as a person.
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Experience comes from bad judgment.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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